This past Friday I loaded up the kids and headed to Atlanta.  Dave was at a camp so this was a road trip I embarked on my own.  Friday we were able to take part of celebrating the year anniversary of the Light a Candle, Feed a child program.  This past year our family partnered with Bridgewater in the program as we had “Frankie’s Candle” the “Scent of a Mothers Love” as the Special Edition Candle of this year.

I’ve never been to the Atlanta Mart.  I was pretty blown away.  I had no idea a place like this exhisted ALL OF THE TIME.  It’s crazy.  Venders upon Venders… Show rooms upon show rooms.  So much creativity at display that it left even my little created sould overwhelmed.

BUT I will say this.  There is NOTHING like being able to take part or support something that is right in Line with your passion.  Adoption/Feeding Children/Orphanages/ I really enjoyed every part of the evening and that much more.  It really has been an honor for our family to partner with this amazing company.  And we all know that the people make the company and the people of Grace Management are exceptional and passionate which is why they are so successful in all they set out to accomplish.  It was a joy to be a continued story of the light a candle feed a child program.  Others have come before us and new stories will join as the journey continues.  And in the end awareness is made and orphans are helped. A few highlights from our time away.

I don’t think our kids have ever stayed this high up in a hotel before.  30th Floor!

The Bridgewater Show Room is AMAZING!

 

Go Before Know – Because sometimes the Promised Land is only visible as you begin to walk.

A little over a week ago, Dave came home and we just had one of those conversations where we both knew it was time to make some steps that do not make sense.  So we really need to be in Pawleys soon.  Emma is needing to start a new school year.  We are needing to be on the ground and moving and collaborating with the team.  Our office building has sold but we are waiting on our homes.  We’ve lowered our price yet again and are almost giving our house away.  We may even need to rent it if it comes to that.  But it takes a family that wants it and we can’t control that part of it. But the conversation lead to a decision that as a ISTJ makes no rational to me.  Regardless of what happens with our home we need to take that leap and “Go Before Know”

In that moment a bold move… We are making plans to be in Pawleys by mid August.

It is a leap because it does not make sense.  You don’t know the outcome.  It requires risk, it requires sacrifice, it requires stepping into the unknown and knowing may cost you a lot.

For a few nights I laid in bed with so many things going through my mind.  How will this all work out?  How can we secure a new place to rent in Pawleys when we still have our home here? How will be afford to do this?  Isn’t this irresponsible? We do not have the money to do this. Didn’t we say we would not go till our home sold? What happens if our home here won’t sell or rent?  How will we ever find a place there that we can afford?

But it’s a leap that does make sense.  Because you know the one who called you is faithful.  And in His hands there is blessing and a Father that guides us as he pours out breakthrough and provision that only is possible when He leads the way.

So that is what our family will do.  We Go Before Know.  Not because it’s being irresponsible or rash.  But because sometimes in these moments, regardless of the outcome you have to choose to walk.

We were in Pawleys today and now are home.  Needing to find a place for our family for the next year or so.  It was a rollercoaster ride.  Unfurnished rentals in Pawleys are not easy to find and it’s a rental market right now for sure. At one point in the day I sat on a floor so discouraged wondering if we would ever find a home for us.  2 hrs later I’m staring in amazement at a place that was unexpected and has EVERYTHING we would have wanted or needed in a home and a little more. It took me by surprise.

I will tell about the events that took place today.  But for the moment I will Remember what He did.  Our circumstances have not changed but His daily provision is all that we need. He showed us that today.

Are you in a moment of needing to Go Before Know?  Sometimes the Promised Land is only visible as you begin to walk.  I dare you to start walking!

There are some moments in life that you know you will never forget because they were life changing.  I’m still here sitting and waiting on personal breakthrough for our home to sell.  I look at my watch and calendar and the time is ticking.  With each day I wonder what will be in store for the day that follows.  Will this be the day I see breakthrough happen?  In our transition to move to Pawleys our team basically  has three properties to sell.  Our home, our friends home who are moving there as well, and our office building in Spartanburg.  These three things needs to be released from our responsibility so that we can be free to move forward.

Yesterday a miracle happened. I dont’ use that term lightly.  I don’t just say things like that but our team experienced a true miracle.  I’m wearing a slap band watch right now that is rather popular this summer.  If you want one they are only $10 and you can get it here. We had them ordered for Wayfarer Camp as a product but they have turned out to be so much more than that.  They have become this amazing tool that is a constant reminder of Truth. On the Watch is printed the word Kairos.

And as I look at my wrist often I am reminded of this Truth: Kairos reminds me that at any time God can break in and change everything. At any moment, in any situation He can step in and make all things new. Sometimes He changes my circumstances. Other times He changes me for my circumstances. Either way His goodness rules over the time I  find myself  in. Because where I  see TIME, HE sees TIMING.

Last week on the last session of Wayfarer Camp out of really no where an offer came in on our office building.  Just yesterday we countered and they accepted the counter offer.  As our agent sat with some of our board members, he emphasized that an offer like this just does not happen in this economy.  And our whole team was reminded that not only is he in perfect control of our timing.. but his timing is ALWAYS perfect.

Out of the three properties needing to be sold, the office was the hardest one to even think of happening.  And just like that He took care of it.  It’s in these moments that I often wonder why I even doubted to begin with.

So as I sit and wait on our personal breakthrough on our own home I’ll take time to remember how He has always come through for us in the past.  It’s such a sweet time of remembering the moments of breakthrough.  His hand has been ever so gentle in guiding us on this transition.  He has made closure happen in so many area’s of our lives to fully be able to release us from the upstate.  Some of it has been hard to move through but most of it has been ever so sweet to experience as only he could shut the door when we never had the strength to do it ourselves.

With each tic of the second hand on my watch I will continue to give him all my worries of Time and Trust his Timing.

I think of the people He has brought into our lives in the past few years.  The people who have become our ministry family who very soon we will be physically living together with.  The only thing better than experiencing breakthrough is to be able to celebrate it with others. Life truly is better when lived in community.  Thankful for the Oikos that surrounds us.

I think it’s going to be exciting to see how our two homes that are left are released from us.  I have no clue how it will happen but I trust the one who has called us to this journey.  So that means I will trust His Timing too.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and do something not many people do.  BE VULNERABLE.  Last night the family was watching the Justin Bieber movie.  Had heard lots about it but had not had a chance to see it.  I thought it was interesting that his career began because of YouTube.  All because he put himself out there in social media and one thing chain reacted to another and well there you go.  I must admit Dave and I laughed most at the crazy girls even younger than Emma who were totally Bieber crazy.  I mean really?  But all that to say, I think sometimes it’s good to be vulnerable.  To put yourself out there in places like the social media and other outlets because it’s really just another way to share your life with others.  And just maybe if we shared our journey’s more with each other and our joys and our struggles we face in life would be richer and more rewarding.

So the vulnerable part… A few weeks ago I was sitting at a pool with the kids and this young girl comes up to me and starts a conversation about my children.  I seriously never think about the fact that our family LOOKS a bit different than most.  I know it does but I just don’t think that way. It’s not until random conversations that I actually am reminded.  But she was wondering if all the kids were mine.  I shared a bit about our family dynamic and Frankie’s story a bit and then all of a sudden she began to share her story that went a bit like this ….

“I’m a foster kid.  I’ve been a foster kid for three years now.  I’ve been with the same family for the whole time so at least I’ve just been in one place. My parents rights were recently taken away so now I can be adopted. My foster mom doesn’t want to adopt kids.  She just fosters us. So now I’m working with my social worker getting my profile together.  And then the words that have been haunting me now ever since our conversation.  She goes on to say these words to me “I  hope to have a family one day and that someone will want to adopt me.”

My moment of vulnerability… WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THAT?

I’ve NEVER had a moment when another Child at an age of understanding looked at me and basically shared one of the most fundamental human needs.  “I need a family, I hope someone will adopt me.” She just said that to the wrong person.  Well the right person for that matter.  My world has been rocked.  I’ve had a flood of questions that I am asking myself and that our family is asking each other.  For me, you can’t walk away from a conversation and need like that and wish someone well or hope for the best and go on your way.  Life, Mission, Community, Family, the Kingdom of God does not work that way.  I don’t know what my role will be in this childs life, but I do say that no matter what happens the Rhodes family has been made aware and we are now hopefully a Catalyst of Change for this little girls life.

Often Dave and I both get asked if we are going to adopt again.  To be honest I don’t really have an answer to that.  We don’t really have any plans to but then again, it’s not really a yes or no answer. I think we both think our family is full for us and we are living probably at our maximum capacity for kids and travel and all that we feel our lives are called to.  BUT, we also know that our lives are not our own and it would be silly for either of us to say that we would never adopt again.  In the call to live a life in Covenant and Kingdom.. In that realm anything is possible.  It will always be possible.

And for this little girl in a world that has been very unfair to her.. I hope she knows that anything is possible for her as well.  I think it’s going to be exciting to see how her story unfolds.

I think many of us often have these Kairos moments in life where in a second things change.  Life as you know it is no longer the same.  This was a kairos moment for me. I’m not sure what question you’ve been asked lately or what someone has shared with you that has left you shaken.  But maybe, just maybe you’ll find yourself vulnerable enough to ask yourself and the community that surrounds you.. “What do I do with that?”

I’m still here.  Waiting on HIS timing. For those of you that are doing the same, you have those days wondering if deliverance will ever break in and break out.  You can’t fully live without Trust. Sometimes it’s hard to trust but I still do it anyway even when I feel like I don’t want to.  Because I KNOW He’s trustable.   We NEED our home to move…  We are doing everything possible on our end to make that happen.  Trusting is worth it but trusting is hard. I feel like I’m sitting at a RED light right now waiting for it to turn Green.  I’d even take a yellow light at this point.

And this week ran a familiar tune with me personally.  I had to finally chuckle tonight when for the 10th plus  year I finally have that aha moment again, realizing what exactly was happening.  I’m sure I’m going to keep having it every year for the rest of my life.  Dave started the summer camp schedule for our family this past week.  And like EVERY start of the summer, as he’s gone and getting things moving, I always happen to have the worst week EVER.  It’s the oddest thing (not really).  I mean I like to think of myself as a machine.  I have things pretty down pat.   I dont’ get shaken much.  But then there it comes like a rapid flood.  DOUBT, INSECURITY, FEAR, LONELINESS, IMPATIENCE, TIMIDNESS, BEING OVERWHELMED.  Not anything like the fruits of the spirit.  And I shake my head right now ashamed that I didn’t recognize it earlier to take hold of the TRUTH and Speak Truth Over it.  Thankful for my husband who as we talked today pointed out the obvious and after recognizing what was happening, a shift in the air and a freedom I have not felt all week.

Apparently there is a lot of good to be done this summer 🙂  Which I have been following the first week of camp For Dave with Student Life from home base this week.  Seems like a great week of Change and Ministry in Students life.  I’ll admit I’m a knower and it’s HUGE for me to FEEL like I’m there even when I’m not.  I LOVE Student Life for many reasons but as a wife I love it because I can listen in the evenings on line and in some ways be part of the journey.  Then I’m also a picture stalker.  Trying to SEE camp for myself and get an idea of what is happening.  Here’s what I came across for this week.  Can you get in trouble for copying pictures and putting them on your blog?  If so, just don’t tell me. Dave heads home tomorrow for a few days rest and then will be back on the road again at the end of the week.  I’m really excited about this summer.  I’m glad I hit a few bumps (I can say that now) this first week to get me on my toes and ready.  I’m ready. Bring it.  Nothing but LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS ETC…..gonna be flowing out of me this summer!  Hope I run into you… I’ll try and pass it on.

Did I really just say that?  It seems a bit unreal at times but it’s true.  Soon no longer will we call the Upstate home.  This is very odd for me.  I’ve NEVER lived in one place longer than I have in the Greenville/Spartanburg area.  I grew up as a pastors kid.  We moved a lot and the longest I had ever been in one place was 6 years (yeah for Cuba, NY).  We’ve been in the Upstate going on 11 years now.  It truly has become home for me like no other place.  Soon we will be coastal living.  Sure there are worst places to be.  But we are looking forward to be calling Pawleys Island, HOME.

The thoughts of moving has it’s ups and downs.  I WOULD NEVER Choose to leave this area.  Why would you?  And factor in the fact that my family is right here, Dave’s family is here. My 87 and 86 year old grandparents live 5 houses down from us.  Why would you ever think of leaving?  You wouldn’t unless the Lord spoke so audibly to your heart and told you once again to step out by faith and go.  After all we are “Wayfarers” and the true definition of that is one having no home.

Those of you who know our family well know the past handful of ministry years have had some struggle for us as we have seen good friends and ministry partners and their families be called onto other places of mission. Although you are happy because  you know they are following the voice of the shepherd that they heard, selfishly it’s still hard when they no longer are part of your daily ministry community.  I mourned for the longest time and tried to make sense of what God was doing.  And I often sat in doubt wondering if we could ever find those types of relationships again in life as a community on mission.

You see, one thing that I think is VERY NORMAL about Dave and I is that we choose to live in community.  As I get to chance to meet other people I am finding out that most people don’t live this way. For me I think are many things that you can do in life on your own and possibly even be more successful if you did.  BUT who wants to win at the end of the day all alone?  Our family was created for community and to live in it.  Even through heartache that can happen at times when your community changes, for me it still worth it.  Enough so that we will always do anything to find it and live in it.

I knew God had a plan for us in all the things happening around us.  Things that we could not control nor could not see.  I knew this because He had shown himself so Faithful to me in my past.  Through my struggles with infertility and adoption.. how could I not trust Him once again? 

Over a year ago.. Dave was invited to attend a meeting that was taking place in Pawley’s Island.  He thought he was heading into a meeting about future projects with one of our contacts in Atlanta.  Instead he ended up finding himself at a “Tasters Conference” put on by 3DM.  He had no clue who 3DM was or what he was about to walk into. It was however in those few days that we finally had someone articulating our heart of what we were living through.  Joining the world of Thought and Spirit, Discipleship and Community, Healing and Struggle.  And into that moment God began to weave relationships like only He knows how.

There is so much more to it.  It would make a great story.  But better yet it’s not just a story, it’s real. Our times of pruning and abiding were preparing us for our future.  In time, the fruit hit.  The first fruit.  It would take a book to write.  Maybe one day I’ll do that. 🙂 

So I sit here in a home that is needing to sell.  It’s the last thing of closure that needs to happen so that our family can take it’s next step on this journey.  I’ve sat in this moment many times before.  The moment that you can not control.  The moment where I see Time but I know HE see’s Timing. So you do what you do best.  You TRUST.  You try not to worry. He knows where we need to be and when. 

I’m not alone in this.  I am one of many people who sit in these moments EVERY day.  Mine is a silly thing of a house.  Some of you sit in moments of sickness, disease, hardship, marriage issues, a father given only a few weeks due to the cancer that is ravaging his body.  I looked a homeless man in the eyes today and the only thing I could do in the moment was give him physical food praying that “living food” would sustain him. We live in a messed up broken world with things that we can’t control.  I just really want to encourage you in your moments of struggle or uncertainty to put your Faith in Him. Trust him with His TIMING.  It does not mean you don’t beg and plead for breakthrough.  But regardless of HIS Timing you trust.  Keep Trusting. 

Leaving here will be hard.  It’s a huge loss to leave.  I can’t even think of leaving our family and friends and the history we have built here.  But leaving here will be one of the most rewarding and exciting things as our lives continue to unfold.  It’s a huge win.  We have a family in Pawley’s who is awaiting our arrival.  Together we will continue to press into doing mission and life together in attempts to be part of a Movement that will change the world.  We will teach it but more importantly we’ll live it.  It’s what we have given our lives to.

I will follow you….You know where I have been you were there with me then.  You were faithful before you will be faithful again, I am holding your hand.  I will follow you….

So I have been saying that our family has some big news to share!

Wayfarer (The ministry Dave and I are part of) has some big news that effects our family.  Here is the link to Wayfarers latest newsletter and then I’ve included the big announcement below.  I’ve been dying to socially be able to start sharing the details of our personal journey.  I am BEYOND excited about the next phase of our ministry life and what we feel God is calling us to be part of.  Our lives have collided with some amazing people that it has been an honor to call friends, but more than that, they have become our family.  There is nothing better or more rewarding for me personally than to do life with a community of people.  Life lived with high inviation and high challenge as we form an Oikos living out community and mission together.  We’ve lived that way our whole lives. I know we’ll do that till we have no more breath in us.  So here is the exciting news from Wayfarer….

Dear Friends,

Of course I HAVE LOTS to say about what this means specifically for our family.  More thoughts from me coming soon!

A time to….

Ponder how fast the first year of pre-school is over.  Last Thursday we celebrated Frankie and Izzie’s last day of school.  It was such a fun celebration and as a mother I enjoyed seeing them in their social setting with their friends and teachers.  Izzie and Frankie have grown so much this year.  Izzie was so ready to be off and learning.  It was so good for Frankie to have another voice in his life, “his teacher” to help teach him and share with him.

My favorite part of the celebration was a prerecorded song and video of “We are going on a Bear Hunt”  Frankie was in the middle of the group and moving and swaying to his own Haitian beat.  I had to chuckle at the fact that he’s my son and actually has some rhythm. Something no one else in our family seems to have.   It blessed my heart…

A time to ….

Rest and Enjoy the Company of Old and New Friends and Celebrate New Life.  This weekend I had a girls get away.  I don’t think you ever realize how much you need it until you actually go and find yourself in the middle of much needed time.  And who can’t relax when you wake up and look out of this view from your bedroom window.

I am so thankful for my gracious and sweet friends in Pawleys who open up their lives and homes to us every time we come.  And this weekend was super special because we were in town for Helens baby shower.  Her third child but first EVER baby shower.  She’s from England and apparently you don’t do baby showers over there…   As her shower started and people began to arrive I was so surprised at how many people I knew.  From our time here this fall I was in a lady’s small group, book club and then with our 3DM family.. It was such a blessing to be able to say hello to so many people that I have had a chance to begin to know.  I’m pretty much a good introvert but was blessed to realize the rewards of putting yourself out there in a new community and meeting new people.  I LONG to grow those relationships as our life continues to unfold.

And last night we ended the weekend celebrating David Walkers new CD release.  That was a blessing too.  One, because it was a joy to go and support David and the amazing gifts and abilities he has been given in leading worship.  It’s a great new album and I loved hearing some of his songs for the first time.   And as an added bonus, it was so good to see so many people I don’t get to see much anymore.  I am still blown away at how fast all the kids I saw last night are GROWING… Wants me to stop time all together for all of us mothers sakes! But seriously I loved colliding with people and sharing a smile and a hug.

A time to….

Be Patient in Waiting to Share some much exciting Family news. So much has happened with our family over the past year.  So many exciting things unfolding for us even as I type.  I am seriously sitting here waiting on word that I can share a new part of our story with you.  So many of you already know, but so many I don’t think are aware of the changes in store for us.  I promise, some long posts are coming.  Things that when I look back I really am in awe of how good God has been to us.  Sometimes we don’t always understand his plan in the midst of our journey.  But when in those moments that they are revealed and you actually get to look back and fully understand what He was up to… well those have and always will be my most personal rewarding and precious discoveries.  I’m not alone in that. I have seen Him do that for so many others.  He’s always faithful… through the storms and through the bright sunny days…  never changing… always there….always faithful.

Being a mother really has been one of the most rewarding things I’ve done.  Yesterday was fun for me.  To see my kids embrace celebrating mothers day without having to prompt them.  You know normally we tell them to create a card for someone’s birthday or teach them  to say “thank you” when someone does something for them.  But yesterday involved no promptings and it was a joy for me to receive their raw acts of giving and serving. As I still was asleep in bed I heard the whispers in the Kitchen.  I knew what they were up to as I doze in and out of consciousness…  And then over a half and  hour later I get a tap on my shoulder and roll over to see a special morning breakfast just for me…  The girls are amazing and their brother helped them out by sleeping in so they could get done what they needed to without his help.

And then we were off to church.   Emma wanted to sit with me in service and it was such a special treat.  I kept telling her how much I loved being her mom.  My sweet girl, my sweet family.  And of course our traditional Sunday meal …. MEXICAN….  the day would not feel complete with out it.

I’ll be honest, I thought a lot about Frankie’s mother too.  Being thankful that she made the decisions she did that allowed her to have her son and then to find a way for him to get to Heartline where then our lives intersected with him. It’s sad for me that I will never know her.  Since I am a knower of information I really long to know about her life and her story.  I hope she would be proud of the journey her son has been on.  And it really is a wonderful honor and blessing to be able for me to be Frankie’s mom. I love him so very much.

Being a mother in it’s moments is hard work.  Some days I wonder if I’ll make it through.  Some days I know I get it all wrong.  Some days I wonder if my children will ever learn what I’m trying to teach them. Some days I think will never end. Yesterday however was a day to reflect and celebrate the wonderful and amazing responsibility I have been given and a day to try and hold back tears as I’m all too aware that the years are passing by too quickly.

Preface:  I have about 20 drafts written on posts and then when it comes time to publish them, I just can’t do it.  I’m not sure why it is.  I blog for me so posts are always coming but sometimes I just feel different about hitting PUBLISH POST.  Sure it has to do with, “I don’t think people want to hear about all the happenings, or to be really honest, so many people we know are going through some really difficult things and in ways my posts just seem too happy or to irrelevant of news to even attempt to put it out there. And I have some really specific things to share about our life and our journey but I’m on a hold button for a little moment longer till I get the green social light! ” But I have to really challenge myself to let it fly, good or bad, happy or sad regardless of the cycle of life I find myself in or I find those I dearly love in.  Sharing is what makes the family work – I like how the Brooks family puts that as they minister to those in Tuscaloosa after such a devastating week last week.  So with that said, I never hit Publish on our time during Easter.  it was a great Easter!

A True Sabbath:
Nowhere to GO,
No one to SEE.
Nothing to DO,
Just BE.

That was Easter weekend in a nutshell.  Had some wonderful moments BEING. I was hosting the family Easter dinner  and  the kids wanted to help decorate.  So we spent time coming up with words that described Easter for some table decorations.  Cut up an old pottery barn magazine and they had at it. 

Add a little ribbon and hang them on some chairs…

And we colored eggs as well.  Odd it’s the first time we have done this..

Frankie colored them too but somehow did not make the picture.  He loved it!

Easter was fantastic.  A memory for me personally to hold on to.  Celebrating LIFE, REDEMPTION!  Lovely time!