I’m still here. Waiting on HIS timing. For those of you that are doing the same, you have those days wondering if deliverance will ever break in and break out. You can’t fully live without Trust. Sometimes it’s hard to trust but I still do it anyway even when I feel like I don’t want to. Because I KNOW He’s trustable. We NEED our home to move… We are doing everything possible on our end to make that happen. Trusting is worth it but trusting is hard. I feel like I’m sitting at a RED light right now waiting for it to turn Green. I’d even take a yellow light at this point.
And this week ran a familiar tune with me personally. I had to finally chuckle tonight when for the 10th plus year I finally have that aha moment again, realizing what exactly was happening. I’m sure I’m going to keep having it every year for the rest of my life. Dave started the summer camp schedule for our family this past week. And like EVERY start of the summer, as he’s gone and getting things moving, I always happen to have the worst week EVER. It’s the oddest thing (not really). I mean I like to think of myself as a machine. I have things pretty down pat. I dont’ get shaken much. But then there it comes like a rapid flood. DOUBT, INSECURITY, FEAR, LONELINESS, IMPATIENCE, TIMIDNESS, BEING OVERWHELMED. Not anything like the fruits of the spirit. And I shake my head right now ashamed that I didn’t recognize it earlier to take hold of the TRUTH and Speak Truth Over it. Thankful for my husband who as we talked today pointed out the obvious and after recognizing what was happening, a shift in the air and a freedom I have not felt all week.
Apparently there is a lot of good to be done this summer 🙂 Which I have been following the first week of camp For Dave with Student Life from home base this week. Seems like a great week of Change and Ministry in Students life. I’ll admit I’m a knower and it’s HUGE for me to FEEL like I’m there even when I’m not. I LOVE Student Life for many reasons but as a wife I love it because I can listen in the evenings on line and in some ways be part of the journey. Then I’m also a picture stalker. Trying to SEE camp for myself and get an idea of what is happening. Here’s what I came across for this week. Can you get in trouble for copying pictures and putting them on your blog? If so, just don’t tell me. Dave heads home tomorrow for a few days rest and then will be back on the road again at the end of the week. I’m really excited about this summer. I’m glad I hit a few bumps (I can say that now) this first week to get me on my toes and ready. I’m ready. Bring it. Nothing but LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS ETC…..gonna be flowing out of me this summer! Hope I run into you… I’ll try and pass it on.
I can so relate to the first paragraph of your post. We are seven months’ away from our first furlough, and the unknowns of housing here on this continent and there on that continent are frightening to me. But I, too, know He’s trustable and am trying to rest in that.