Thoughts from the Battle

11 Tuesday Sep 2012

It’s a Tuesday and for the first time in a LONG time I sit in a quiet house. Dave is off in Dallas, my children have been dropped off at 3 different schools and I sit here as my feet are still a little sandy from an early walk on the beach and some time to “be” and “abide”. I plan at some point to take a bike ride as well and continue to ponder.

It has been just about a year that we have lived here in our new little town. The place my heart now calls home. I remember as if it was yesterday, selling most of our furniture and cleaning our home in prepping it for the next family that would be living in the place we dwelled for the last 7 years. Feeling the grief of lost relationships and hard goodbyes of family. Wondering why on earth I decided to leave most of our stuff with Dave saying he wished he left behind even more of it. But stepping in confidence that we were listening to HIS voice and following as we heard him whisper. And I remember the point of looking in the car mirror. You know how you do that from time to time. But I remember that moment of taking the last glance at what was on the side reflection of the car and then choosing to look ahead into what I know would be. A moment of honoring and celebrating the past but at the same time continuing to walk and take faith ground in the future. It was not an either or for me but a both and…

It’s really hard for me to put into words what has happened over this past year for me personally. I’ve been encouraged and challenged, I’ve seen amazing provision that only he could give and I’ve been asked to sacrifice in ways that only he can sustain. And it has played out like an amazing harmony on this steady playing beautiful note that is called my life. Some days it can sound out of tune or a bit off beat but for the most part I continue to hear this beautiful song and melody that continues on in the sacrifice or the blessing that comes.

So having some time to reflect this morning and hearing his Voice call me back to blog and write today I felt compelled to share something with you that I have staked this past year on and have been processing a bit over the past 3 days. You see, when we made this last move I came to personal decision. I chose to embrace the voice of the Good Shepherd in that I recognized and confirmed that I knew what it was God was calling our family to in this next phase of our Family on Mission. And then I think I did the next thing that has allowed me to walk in the most freedom ever. I acknowledged and surrendered that IT WOULD COST ME EVERYTHING. So to state that even simpler… “I know God has called me, and I know that it will cost me everything.”

I’m smiling a bit right now because when I articulate that to people, especially the it will cost me everything…people get REALLY uncomfortable and look at times as if I’m crazy. And I get that. No one likes to hear that something should or will have to cost you something or everything for that matter. Our natural instinct is to avoid discomfort, loss, pain, sacrifice. We live in a world that tells us on a daily and hourly basis that we should be entitled to things. And people will literally tell me when I share that…But your kids?, But your family? But your time? But Dave traveling so much? And I hear their concern in what they are saying. But there are a few things I’ve learned in this process… In the It will cost you everything… there is the joy of the most amazing blessing that is balanced perfectly with the struggle of the hardest sacrifice that can only begin to be experienced in act of living into it. And at the end of the day there is one thing you need to understand about me and what I am doing and daring to take possession of…

I’m a Warrior. 🙂 I’ve spent the past year and continue to prepare and orient myself first as a warrior. And each day I wake up and recognize that I’m not just living another day of life but that I’m engaging in a battle. I recognize that our King is near and that He wants to do Good things and He wants to Win. So I take on each day putting on my armor, helping my family and children put on theirs and then head out to take possession of his promises and take ground he has given us to take. And he wants to Win and so do I. So everything I do is INTENTIONAL for battle. From our family rhythms, to what I invest time, to how I handle and see Dave being gone, to how I process things happening, to even understanding my capacity… everything is filtered in light of the battle.

The War we are in. And yes it’s a war. There is a battle raging for your time, ability, competence, courage. Many are battling wars of sickness, enemy attacks, bombs going off in our midst here and there. But the WAR….It’s already been WON. God is Good and He WINS. And here is the thing I love about our King and the Kingdom we fight for… It is HERE, as in now. It is NEAR, as he will continue to break into our lives and speak to us and guide us in the battles. It is COMING, one day all debts will be settled. And It’s DELAYED, as we wait we MUST fight and take possession of everything that has been promised to us.

And that is what I am trying to do each and every day. Some days are massive breakthroughs. Other days you can find me wounded on the field with my doubts. Some days I sit in the amazing blessing and wonder and awe of His provision and care and other days the sacrifices I know he requires leave me wondering if I might have anything left to give. But at the end of the day for me, there is nothing more that I want to do with my life than submit and bring honor to the King and go after all that He has for me and our family while we are here on this earth. Anything less than that would be a disappointment for me.

One last thing I wanted to leave with you as I was processing this, this week at the Sr Pastors retreat we had going on here in Pawleys. When waging in a war, It’s those that decide before hand that something won’t stop them will win. Those that find themselves dead already will always win. I refuse to enter battle holding on to things in my hand. I won’t be a casualty of this war because of that. Which is why I always recognize daily that it’s all His, and daily I give it to him. And if I one day I become a casualty in this war, it won’t be because I was not fighting or because I was holding anything back.

So maybe I was supposed to write this today to encourage you or maybe challenge you to ask yourself if there is anything you are holding on to that might be preventing you from having the breakthrough the King is wanting you to have? And what would it look like to take a step in trying to release that from your grasp and see what He can do with it?

And just as I am teaching my kids this week this verse from Joshua 1:9

He will be with you wherever you go.

What you’ve missed

14 Monday Jun 2010

Posted by kimrhodes in Adoption, Dave, Emma, Family, Frankie, Friends, haiti, Journey, life, mission, Uncategorized

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Tags

Camp, Haiti, life, Ministry, Parenting

Oh my. Yes it has been that long. So instead of taking a month to blog about it, here is what you have missed…

We are full on in camp. Dave is with Student Life this week and Rush of Fools at Wake Forest University. I’m wishing I was there. Emma’s with him. I don’t think she slept last night dreaming of camp.
Wayfarer camp. Week one was a great success. It’s amazing what a group of people and can accomplish when you work together. Loved being a team. Met some great new people.
Talking about camp. I thought I’d figured out a way to never do housing or connect groups again. No such luck. Housing was fun and I’m busy into housing this week for our next Wayfarer Camp next week at Anderson University.
Loved knowing Dave and Reichley were able to catch up with 3DM. I was sad I missed them. We are always blown away after having any conversation with them.
Emma lost her front tooth last night. She looks hilarious! I’m happy but sad at the same time. They are growing up way to fast.
Talking about growing up and making some major decisions… we heard Sam Norris was baptised Sunday. So proud of that little man and his life. Brings much joy to my heart.
Trying to figure out a way that our family can start hosting people in our home. No clear pictures yet on how that will happen but it’s exciting. Just need a few more bedrooms.
Frankie is IN LOVE with his daddy. A wonderful but not so good thing when daddy is gone all summer. He had a 1 hr cry fest on his way home from camp missing him.
Talking about camp, Frankie seemed to enjoy his first experience. Not too sure of the loud music or why daddy was on a stage but hey… he’ll figure it out sooner than later.
Izzie won’t stop talking. She wakes up talking and goes to bed talking. She is having a hard time with her “r” sounds so she is constantly cracking me up.
Playing tennis in 95 degree heat is probably not a smart thing to do in the heat of the day. But I’m still so in love with the game. It keeps getting better.
Hot Hot Hot. If you live in the South then you know what I’m talking about.
Pool time is a regular for us. The kids would spend hours there if I would let them.
Excited about some new adventures with this company. Can’t wait to share more soon.
I know a celebrity! Kristen from Rage Against the Mini Van and adoptive mom and friend is heading to NY Tuesday to be on the View this Friday I think. She’ll be talking about blogging and adoption some of my favorite things.
Blogging, oh how I love you. Check out my new blog title in case you missed it. So long Chapter Two. Hoping for good things in store for Fingerprints on my Walls. There is a purpose for the title as the next few years unfold.
I’m missing Haiti. My heart thinks of it everyday.
I miss my Haiti connection friends in Houston, Tampa, Austin, Little Rock and PA and CA and MI. Why can’t we all live in the same town! I guess I’m really thankful for blogging and facebook.
Some people in the Wayfarer Family are expecting… Finally! Will be good to have more babies running around soon.
Tried the Spicy Chicken Sandwich and well, it was too spicy for me. Dave Loves it.
Thankful to DVR Toy Story for the kids. Finally some “boy” themes instead of princess around here.
Everyone keeps talking about their beach trips. Would give anything to take off my shoes and go for a stroll.
I’m making rice crispy treats for a shower tomorrow night… I’ve never made them before. Lame I know. I’m thinking I’ll just buy them!

Blessings Friends. I’m back at it once again.

Bullet Points

27 Tuesday Nov 2007

Posted by kimrhodes in Journey, Uncategorized

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So I took a big blog break. It was good to rest this Thanksgiving. Here are some bullet points of the last week.

Dave’s family came in town. We sure miss them. We had a great time.
Emma played with Kayleigh and I never saw her! They had a blast. Getting older makes them have a lot more fun together.
Saw Enchanted with Emma and Dave. Loved it!
Gained 2 pounds from all the eating.
Saw a video last night on Lori’s blog. Can’t shake it. Had a hard time going to sleep.
Izzie got croup! Sounds worse than it is. We took her to the ER on Saturday for a breathing treatment. She is doing much better.
I’ve got a cold
Started decorating for Christmas. Don’t want to put up a tree
Dave says I’m a ba humbug!
I hate buying things for people out of obligation. I’d much rather buy something out of need or that means something.
We are celebrating the girls b-days this Sunday. Emma is way too excited.
I’m going to have Dave guest blog here soon to tell about his trip to Peru. He’s still debriefing it.
And… I’m heading to Haiti in May. I am really looking forward to it. A little anxious but it’s something I’m supposed to do. More on that later.
Very exciting stuff going on in our lives and we are very thankful for all we have and all the opportunities.

Hope that gets you caught up.

Black, White and Gray

15 Sunday Jul 2007

Posted by kimrhodes in God, Journey

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The past few mornings I have been up at the crack of dawn. I am an early riser by nature but my children… they beat me to it. If your children sleep in past 8AM in the morning you ought to consider it a blessing. My kids will be up anytime between 6 and 7am and if they make it to 7 I really feel like I slept in a bit. It’s not really a big deal for me but my husband is a night owl so trying to balance staying up later with him but having to get up so early with the kids is a rhythm I am still trying to figure out. With that said, the past few mornings have allowed a time for a nice walk through our neighborhood. When it’s 8am, everyone has been up for 2 hrs, breakfast has been served… what else is there to do but get outside?

I have not walked our neighborhood in a while so these past few days have been an interesting walk of discovery for me. We don’t live in an upscale community. It’s a very modest neighborhood. Dave and I love it here and we love our home. The home we live in is nicer than any home that Dave and I grew up in. We feel very blessed to have the house that we do. We made a few good decisions when buying our first home and when interest rates hit rock bottom a few years back we were able to sell that house invest in a much larger home for a very little house payment in comparison. We were just fortunate that all the cards played in our favor. Our neighborhood is governed by a covenant. We like this because it prevents eye sores or chain link fences going up around you. However on my walks it amazes me how many people are in violation of the covenant. It’s not just a few homes, it’s many. The thing about covenants is that it’s very black and white. There is a document that says exactly what you can and can not do. There is no gray area. But yet so many people want to live in the gray. It bothers me when there are issues that are black and white and people live in the gray. But it bothers me even more when the issue is Gray and people want to define it as black and white. Bet you did not see that twist coming!

It lead me to think about the generation that we live in. Especially Christianity and people who claim to be Christians. There are so many churches, people, Christians, that want to define a black and white covenant to issues that are gray and can’t be defined. Living in the bible belt we encounter this everyday. Churches in the south have a tendency to define major issues as black and white and leave people in a battle of choosing purity or sin. It’s such a shame. We are enslaving people through a bad theology instead of defining the gray issue and letting people live and draw their own lines based on there experiences and relationships with the Lord. Jesus dealt with this a lot as he constantly lived in the gray and had the Pharisees looking over him wanting him to define black and white and then persecuting him when he didn’t. Jesus hung out with ungodly people, He did things that made people question him, he healed on the sabbath, he changed water into wine, he ate and fellowshiped with people living in sin. This is like Christianity 101… most of you already know all of this. Sorry for the details.

All that to say.. I feel like am constantly aware of the black, white and gray.

Dave gets this a lot with the people and groups that he comes in contact with. Especially the youth of this generation. At most of the camps he does… there will no doubt be a question and answer time where Dave sits in the hot seat and trys to answer life questions that these kids have. It becomes interesting because a lot of these kids are from places that have defined issues as black and white. Dave and I.. well we live in the gray on a lot of issues. That is the way we live our life and in ways it’s part of our ministry to shed more gray in people’s lives. Not to be reckless but to take God seriously and enjoy the freedoms he has given us with life and to trust our relationship with him and the holy spirit on what is right for us. Of course in teens lives it all comes down to about three questions that are asked every time. “How far is too far?, Is drinking alcohol wrong?, How do I deal with mean people? I love how Dave answers these questions. Especially when you have a baptist minister standing over you wanting you to define it as right and wrong. And Dave always comes back to the gray. Telling students that there are a lot of gray area’s in Christianity that can not be defined in black and white and that you need to walk in that grey in your relationship with the Lord and define your own lines with Him. (I really wish someone presented those thoughts to me while growing up. When I would live in the gray on issues… which I thought were black and white, I felt like such a sinful person. When really… looking back, it was not sin at all. I feel like I missed out on a greater impact on people because I was so chained to my own struggle of disapointment.) There is a lot more that goes into answering that but I’ll leave it there just to make my point. And let me preference…. There are many many issues that are black and white… take the 10 commandments as some of them. Don’t steal, covet, honor your father and mother, etc… so I’m not trying to say do whatever you want. Hopefully you know what I was trying to say. Just focusing on the Gray thing right now.

I am trying to think how that has played out in our lives. Dave and I are definitely trying to be more missional. We both grew up with a very black and white influence in our lives. Daring to live in the gray has brought about much freedom. It’s not always easy because there will always be those people in our life who will question us when they see us doing something that for them is still defined as black and white. Much like with Jesus there are probably people that look at us and play the Pharisee role. We don’t care.

So back to our neighborhood. Who ever thought that a few days of walking around our hood would bring me to reflect on the spiritual journey’s we have been on. Or more so.. .I have been on.