I’ve been out with Frankie in public a few times now. And as I’ve heard I knew it would be interesting but I’ve never had time to think much about “the looks” until now. I mean, I feel very unprepared as it is the last thing I’ve really thought about is how it will be to be out and about. And it’s interesting. From the moment we stepped off the plane a few weeks ago the looks started. I mean we walked straight into the media and camera’s as you can see… I guess this attention was preparing me for the looks that will come our way probably for the rest of our lives…
But seriously.. I want to be totally honest with our whole journey and this is just a part of it that again was not prepared for. I mean, I’m a mom. I have 3 children. They all do not look a like. I don’t really think about it at any other point during my day unless there is the look that comes my way.
So the look… I know you know what I am talking about. It’s the silent look, or the surprised look, or the rude look, or the questionable look, or the happy look, or the encouraging look. You get my point. It’s really hard to know exactly what one I am getting. I can give my best call on it but then it’s only an assumption unless there is conversation involved. When you walk around with 3 year old twins named Izzie and Frankie you can’t help but get them. Can I be really honest with you again? I really kinda like getting the look. Why? It gives me an opportunity to look back. To in some way get to share our story through the picture of our lives. Wether I get to talk or just get to smile it’s passing on the Kingdom of God for me. And nothing bothers me about that. I hope our family will always embrace that. I hope Frankie will too as he grows and matures into a young man. That he will get the Kingdom even through our lives and the looks that we will live by. I pray they won’t ever define us but will only spur us into compassion and love. We are not that type of family who gets frustrated or annoyed by silly questions like… “are they both yours?” are they siblings? what about his or her hair? Some people don’t tolerate those comments very well and that’s understandable and ok, but for us in our DNA, we just don’t really care. I think there is something powerful about questions even the absurd ones because they lead us to having to explain answers which at the end of the day is more life changing than walking away not being able to engage life or being annoyed.
Haiti too brings a whole new story to our lives. The look that comes often changes drastically when the knowledge that Frankie is Haitian comes into play. In such a short time I’ve really been blown away by that. I love that about our story but I hate it as well. I love it because it shows me that people do have compassion and can see past themselves to the needs of others in acceptance. I hate it because it means that we get that compassion because Frankie’s home country has experienced such devastating loss. I hate it because I know if that were not the case then some of the looks would not soften once that knowledge came.
I’m new at all this. We are new at all of this. If you see us around please don’t be afraid to look. We really don’t mind at this point and time in our lives. You’ll for sure not see a perfect family who has all the answers to life and adoption and living with children from different cultures. But we do hope you see a family who chooses to engage life with what we have been given. And what I’m one day longing for is that when I get to look back, I’ll be blown away by the common ground that binds our hearts together through our glances.