What a climb it has been.  Or I mean run.  I have Hannah Montana AKA Miley running through my head.  I am dreading heading to bed since the morning brings with it the dreaded run.  All 9 miles of it.  Why am I doing this to myself?  I do know.  It’s the journey of friendship and commitment.  But to be honest I’m ready to throw in the towel.  I really am doubting my physical capability. And my mental capability has left me long ago.

In three weeks I’ll be doing another half.  When Wendy asked if I wanted to do it with her I had a sudden lapse of insanity and forgetfulness.  Sure I said.  I can commit to that.  I can commit to running the race on race day but I forgot the 12 week training that is basically the guts of it all.  And that is what has almost done me in.  Not to mention throwing in a Tri in there as well.  And these past 2 weeks I have all but fallen off the training wagon.  What this will mean for me for tomorrow or for a few weeks from now, I’m scared to even ask so if you know please don’t tell me. 

After running now for 10 months I must say that I truly think I’m not a runner.  I really wanted to be one but I think I’m missing something that makes you want to do it… that inner umph that get’s you through the hard days.  I mean does anyone really enjoy running?  Don’t answer that because I know lots of you do.

Here is the most ironic, funny, (well not that funny), bummer of a thing…. In 10 months of runs and miles and sweat… Guess how many pounds the scale records me shedding?  Can you spell Zero?  I mean seriously people!  And I just got my results back from my physical last week for our adoption process and you would think my cholesterol would be much better.  Wrong.  It’s the same as when I never exercised.  So at the end of the day I just want to say Bahumbug to running.

So if you are misserable… then think of me and smile.  Because I can guarentee I am ten times more miserable than you are.  The only thing that I am looking forward to on the 31st is seeing Wendy reach her goal.  She’s doing awesome.  Kicking my butt for sure.  And if you are thinking of asking me to run another one of these things… (Kristen, who I have yet to return your last email) well I’m not sure I’ve got it in me.  I’ve got to cross this next finish line and figure out my next strategic step.

This was me back in April… me when running was my Happy Place.  Oh boy I want to just slap her.  I want to tell her STOP WHILE YOU ARE AHEAD!!!

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Here is me tonight… I don’t think I need to make any comments.  You get the point.

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