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My appologies for all the pictures with me in them.  I really don’t like posting myself but I get so many pictures of just Frankie that having me in them finally…. well just say… I love it.

So I had a date today with my son.  It started with our time together at church.  I wondered how he would do.  It’s not often he gets outside of the boys home and so it was pretty new for him to drive in a vehicle and attend a church service.  Maranatha takes the kids to church when they are older and since Frankie is the youngest at the boys home, well he has yet to make that trip.  So it was special for me that I was able to take him for his first time in a long time.  Since Izzie is his age I figured he’d be all over the place but that was not the case.  For 3 hours he sat in my lap and slept for most of it.  Nothing like holding your sleeping child when you don’t ever really get to do that.

After church we had lunch at John and Beths.  Frankie and I played and ate and played some more.  I tell you what, boys are a different breed.  It’s so different than what I am used to with my girls.  He runs, wipes out, gets up and keeps going.  Emma or Izzie would have taken any of the falls he does and would be down for the count.  I must say this is a much needed and wonderful dynamic for me.  He’s all boy and I love it.

This evening I went and read stories to all of Frankies friends.  And then after that grabbed Frankie for some quite time together and off he went fast asleep in my arms.  He had a very busy and abnormal day for him and it really wore him out.  I gently put him in his crib and gave him one last kiss goodnight. 

Tomorrow I leave.  I have mixed emotions.  I have loved every minute of entering Frankies life but it’s hard because just as quick as I have entered it… I now leave.  I talked to another adoptive mom tonight and this is the second time for them visiting their kids.  She said that once you meet your children it’s almost as if you ruin their existing life.  Because as much love they are given by all the people at Marantha and their nannies etc, once they experience the love of a parent they really are never the same…  ruined … but ruined in a good way.  After thinking about it I think I agree with her.  I don’t hope for Frankie’s life to be ruined from now until he comes home but I do hope that he senses a void…no matter how big or small that may be of his mothers love.  And that when at last we join together again on this journey that he will unmistakeably know that void is filled. 

I’ll cherish my time with him tomorrow and then say my farewell….until next time…..

 

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