It has happened again and it makes me want to throw up. We just found out again that another person in our ministry circles has been found out about having an affair. It really pisses me off. What are these people thinking? And the bad thing is that they are not feeling guilty and coming forward with this information. Someone is ratting on them and so they now have to confess and say I messed up. This has been hitting way too close to home since my husband travels and speaks for a living. I have told him multiple times starting a few years ago when we would hear news of people you would never imagine having affairs that…”just fyi… If you ever cheat on me… that’s it… I won’t be showing any grace or understanding and you will loose me and your kids. You can expect to have visitation rights and that’s about it.” I hate to be so blunt but you kind of have to these days. And I am far from being naive to think that this could not happen to us. I am not the wife that is going to tell my husband… if you ever cheat on my I’ll never leave you or divorce you. Now let me clarify… we have a wonderful marriage and commitment to each other. I would never in a million years think that would happen to us but then again… It can happen to anyone as people are so often proving. Isn’t sin so devastating at times? Dave and I just sit and look at each other and can’t comprehend how these people that we thought we knew were so fake and living such a deep dark lie… not only to themselves but to everyone else.

The hard thing I am trying to wrap my mind around is that these current people who speak about God and Lead people in worship for a living, who are entrusted with real broken people with a message of redemption… how they can keep doing that when they are embedded in sinful lie. I truly believe if you are in a vocation where you are impacting people with the gospel that you are truly held to a higher standard of morality. And if you can’t hold up to that standard go sell cars!!! Don’t ruin lives of people who trust you with helping them along with their journey. I don’t know how they can live with themselves. How can you take a stage and talk about and sing about God and not be big enough of a man to deal with Him with your own crap. These people are hypocrites and I have no tolerance for them.

It also makes me to start to respect other speakers and worship leaders that I know that do take God seriously and do hold themselves to a higher standard because they know the cost of what would happen if they mess up.

So I am sorry that I am not showing much Grace here but I don’t feel bad for these people. And I don’t feel bad that they have lost any current chance of ministry. Oh and I’m tired of people saying that their spouse is fine with it and they have worked things out… NO YOU HAVE NOT… GO GET SOME FREAKING COUNSELING. IT’S NOT OK!!!!!!!

All right… I ‘m a little too fired up for a Sunday morning… I am sure in the next few weeks I’ll start to feel bad for these people. The difference between me right now and God is that God can make such beauty our of their brokenness. So I hope they are on a journey of redemption in their lives…. But until then, let me end with a little salute to my husband…

Dave,
I respect you for knowing the cost of messing up especially when you work in the environments that you do. I am so proud that you are a godly man and take so seriously the message that has been given to you to proclaim. I am glad that you have a community of friends in your life established that hold you accountable to these high standards. I never doubt your relationship with the Lord or your relationship with our family. You live and breath him. Every time you speak I listen with such attention not because I am your wife but because I know your heart to be pure. I know the hours you have researched and worked through and prayed through your talk… your message. It is very obvious and apparent. You are an unbelievable communicator. You have a god given gift. Thank you for always taking your job seriously and with integrity. Thank you for giving 100% every where you go. To the small crowds and the large. Your growing ministry is proof of your sincerity and integrity… And if you ever make me eat these words… I’ll personally kill you myself! 🙂

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