I’m amazed how some chunks of time can go and you think… ” I made it a few weeks and that was not so bad…. and then I’ll have those few days where my heart or mind can’t rest from thinking about Haiti or thinking about our son.  The past 24 hrs have been that way for me….   In the very simple things… I am reminded of Haiti… of Frankie…and I can’t shake it.

• I rode in the back of a pick up truck last night with some of the girls on staff at  Wayfarer camp (I won’t mention the college boys who gave a few whistles to us 30 year olds..made us laugh) and the wind blowing on me and the air…. made me think of how it is to ride around in Haiti piled in the back of a truck.  … I can’t shake it.
• Little Miss Molly Smith was at camp today dropping off her big sister.  The Smith Family has been so encouraging and supportive with our whole adoption process.  Miss Lisa told me that Molly prays for Frankie all the time…. I can’t shake that.
• One of the youth ministers at camp this week just returned from Haiti with some of his students.  It was their first time visiting.  As he sat and said he could not articulate what the trip did for him… I just stood there with tears trying not to well up in my eyes because at that moment we both knew and understood.  He can find no words and to that…I can’t shake it.
• People…  There is this this girl that has volunteered her time and has given up 4 days to help Wayfarer do camp.    I never met her until yesterday but I knew of her much before that.  She and her husband have played a role in our journey with Frankie.  I was so glad to finally meet her.  To put a face with a name.  And being so thankful that we finally crossed paths….. and I can’t shake it.
• Got an update this week on how Frankie is doing….part of the update was this.. “Frankie is doing great!  – I can’t see him or hold him or love on him without thinking of you – and I often think how much he looks like you – although I can’t exactly put into words just why.  He has been doing this really cute thing the last two or three weeks where he is clapping “big” – like he starts with his arms open clear wide – and then watches them both to make sure that they clap together.  It is SO CUTE!!!  He is bright and happy and wonderful.”  Oh my heart finds much rest in this.  I know he is loved, cared for, enjoying his time with his nannies and friends… but I long for him to be home with us and there is a long road ahead of us, and we know that, we have always known that…..but still I can’t shake it.

It’s late.  I’m spent.  I want to try and sleep but my mind just seems to keep on racing.  I’m afraid it’s going to be another night of Advil PM for me.  Much love to you all.