(Me with Chrislene at the RC earlier this month)
I’ve gone non stop since being home from my trip from Haiti. The summer is about to hit for the guys at Wayfarer and one of my main jobs is to be sure they are good for every event. We’ve made a few short 8 hr trips…one to Orange Beach to spend some much needed time with friends and one to Rockledge, FL to see Dave’s family and to be here for a wedding that Emma is in. We just hit Disney the other day etc. Life going non stop and I am yelling/screaming for it to slow down.
Last night at 1AM I was catching up with people on their blogs. Again, all I’ve had time to do is post if that. And as i was reading up on the RC and Licia and Lori, I read that Chrislene had passed away this past week. Life stopped, I sat in my chair as if to try and process anything that has been happening lately and then weeped. Haiti rushed back… well did not rush back, it’s always there but I still have not really processed a lot of my trip and so it just rushed back. We saw and touched so many children while we were in Haiti. At the RC I had the privilege to hold Chrislene for a while. I just remember telling her how Belle “beautiful” she was. She touched my heart. And now her life is over here. I also read how the RC is struggling for funding etc. That just should not be happening. They are making such a difference in meeting needs in so many peoples lives.
So as I wake up this morning from a night of little sleep I just sit and ask all the questions. Why? Why do these kids have to die? Why does any child have to face death and not get a chance at life? Why do thousands of people just get wiped out in an earthquake or a Cyclone and the world just goes on? Why the tragedy? I guess for me I’ve think that I’ve landed on something. I know this for sure. Tragedy will find each and every one of us. I don’t think it’s possible to escape this life with out experiencing it. It’s just a matter of when it will find you.
So what does that mean for me? That means that I try to live each day with intention and purpose. Try is the key word here. I try and give it all and leave nothing. I embrace each and every wonderful thing and cherish it and I embrace the bad and learn from it. It means I never stop asking God the tough questions and it means that I trust his heart and who he is even when I can’t humanly understand the timing, randomness or brokenness that tragedy brings. I trust that he will use our family to play a role in this life. That he will empower us to empower others to dream, dare, dive, and give our lives away.
Oh and couple all of what I just said with the fact that 24hrs ago we were at Disney in Fantasy world with our family. It was awesome and it was the perfect day that we all embraced. Again, I just find myself in a place that is messed up as I try and process life, celebration, death, tragedy, meaning etc if that makes any sense to anyone at all.