Last night I was tucking Emma into bed.  Doing our normal snuggle time before the lights get turned out.  All of a sudden she says to me… “Mom it’s no fair!”  And I asked her “what is no fair?”  She says “it’s no fair that I don’t live in Haiti.”  And I asked her “why is it not fair that you don’t live in Haiti?”  She said, “They have bunk beds there and a trampoline.” 

That was sure out of the blue.  Both our girls are very familiar right now about Frankie and where he lives etc..  And at the Maranatha Children’s Home where Frankie is they have rooms of bunk beds and outside in the courtyard is a trampoline for the kids to play on.  She see’s those pictures and wants to live there. 

Being the smart and wise mom that I am, ha!  I fully took the opportunity to grab Dave’s laptop and spend time with Emma talking about the devastation that hit Haiti this past month.  I took her to the Real Hope for Haiti site and walked her through the pictures of people in need of water, getting water, damages to the houses there etc.  She just sat there and then said, “momma, that is so sad.” 

I love these moments with our children.  Moments to teach them that the life that we live here in good old Reidville, SC is not the life that other people have the opportunity of living.  I hope and pray my children will always be aware of the blessings in life and also the realities of life.  This was just one of those moments with Emma that I hope got her mind thinking a bit.  After looking at pictures of Frankie before we shut down the computer, we then went on to pray for Haiti and the people there who are in much need of hope and help after the massive rain that has hit them. 

I turned out the light and left the room.  My heart heavy.  There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about life and the balance of it.  To be honest… ever since coming back from Haiti in May I am in constant internal struggle of what is real, what is important, what matters, what am I doing with my life, etc.  Each day I enjoy the presence of my girls  and my family through laughs, play, squeals and I am well aware that there is a little boy in Haiti who does not even know us and he just finished a day as well that I was not a part of.  And that is ok, that is this process but it’s so weird to me.  I also think about the ministry struggles of ministering to a generation here in the USA and then I try and grasp the ministry experience that people like Lori and Licia are doing in Haiti.  I often wonder if I am doing enough with my days, is there something more I can do to help out in this world etc.  I’ll be honest… I’m at a moment/season in my journey where life is taking me at all angles and at the end of the day I really can’t process all that my heart and mind are experiencing….. 

Am I the only one who daily struggles with stuff like this?  I have to think that I am not alone.  The hope is that I know that I am not alone.