So today was back to work. Everything just goes back to new normal. And in the quite pauses of the day my mind still turns non stop trying to process the things my eyes have seen while in Haiti. I read Aaron Ivey’s post today right before staff meeting. I printed it and had it on hand to share since I knew I was going to be asked about my trip etc. He did just a good job explaining exactly how I feel in the moment right now. I wish he would stop doing that! I guess that is just the sign of an extremely great writer who is in touch with reality. I ended my sharing saying “I know this is lame but I need to share what Aaron wrote today because it really helps me artticulate some of the things I am feeling.” So with that I read his work and cried through it.
Getting back to life is hard to process for me right now. It’s hard to jump back into the fast pace world I live in while still having the reality of Haiti so fresh on my mind. I became aware of so many things last week. And the thing is that once you become aware you in some way become accountable to how you respond to it if that makes any sense at all. So I’m just figuring all of that out. The bottom line is that somehow I was lucky enough to be born in this great country that I live in and have many abundant blessings. I just want to live in a way that I give more than I receive, that I invest more than I keep that I take the blessings that I’ve been given and use them and the resources I’ve been given to do great things. I’m sure I’ll be unveiling some of those things this next year but for now all I can do is process and try to dream.
Before I left for Haiti each of my girlfriends gave me something of meaning to them to take with me. Courtney gave me this bracelet to take. It was given to her by her parents when she went on her first mission trip in high school. Engraved on it is the word Dream. I kept it in the bag I traveled with and was able to take this picture that captures my heart. For me, these two worlds have collided with each other. And in response in some crazy way I have begun to dream about what is to come even though I have no clue as to how to articulate anything I’ve experienced.